The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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