Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
