Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pants are for mortals
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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