just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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