You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wear drunk well.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
