1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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