I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize