he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I could fuck to npr.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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