she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize