3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize