I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
