Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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