Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Boobs are out for the taking
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
