I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
