you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you are never too drunk for berry picking
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
