I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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