I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
