she was so not down for the gang bang
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
