You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize