so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then my night got REAL pukey
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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