i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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