Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.