I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE