I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?