OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?