Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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