just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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