Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize