Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
