the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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