Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
