Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
