I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you will always have a special place in my vag
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
