Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
