You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
