It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
