walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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