so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion