I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
