Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Good thing I've started drinking again