I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.