So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
