My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
