you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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