Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
