david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
