Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize