You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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