fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
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How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.