so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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