I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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