he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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