yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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