Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
