dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
