I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize