I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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