ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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