no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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