Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
