i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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