I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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