the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize