Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize