pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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